3 Reasons Goal-Oriented Parents Should Chase Their Dreams NOW!

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FEELING STUCK?

Parents! Have you ever felt stuck in a rut? Have you ever felt like you don’t have time for anything other than your children? I have been there. I found myself, tired, overwhelmed and unfulfilled.

Before your children, you had lots of hopes, dreams, and aspirations, but now those dreams seem impossible. You keep giving yourself reasons why you can’t do the things that you once dreamed.

My Story

Before I wrote my book, “The Purposeful Parent,” this was what I was feeling. I had this dream in my heart. I wanted to let everyone know that they were born with a purpose. I knew that was my purpose. However, like a lot of parents, I felt overwhelmed, tired, and stressed out.

My daughter was in gymnastics three days a week. My son had football three days a week. I was on the Praise Team at church, and sometimes I taught classes at the Bible School that we did. On top of this, I was dealing with a lot of personal issues in life. I am talking about issues that were life-changing and required a lot of attention. I had a lot going on.

One day, on the phone with my counselor, I was explaining all of this, and we came up with the idea of writing a book. Initially, I laughed because I was so caught up in my schedule. I couldn’t imagine where I would find the time to write a book. What I later realized was that this was the key I was missing.

Writing the book steered me in the direction of the dreams that I had in my heart before I had children. When I started pursuing my purpose, everything else in my life fell into the right places.

3 Reasons We Need to Pursue Our Purpose

Parents, we were made for a purpose in addition to being a parent. Don’t get me wrong, being a parent is essential and it is a big part of our lives. I love being a father. It is one of the greatest joys of my life. However, we were made for a purpose beyond parenthood and here is why we need to pursue this purpose now!

  1. We Are Healthier When Live Our Purpose

When we pursue our purpose, we are the happiest that we will ever be. We all have a gift on the inside of us. We all have a talent that is God-given. This gift/talent is what gives us energy, strength, and gives us a feeling of fulfillment in our lives.

When we do what we were created to do, we will live the life that we were meant to live. That’s living life to the fullest. That’s being a Purposeful Parent.

2. We Are an Example to Our Children

Our children learn by example. They are learning from us when they are around us. Sometimes it seems like they are most observant when we are unaware that they are looking. If we want our children to live their life to the fullest, the best way is to set the example ourselves.

If we want our children to fulfill their purpose, we must fulfill our purpose.

3. Now Is the Time; Not Later

There is power in not waiting for the perfect time. The truth in life is that there is NEVER an ideal time to begin. There is NEVER a perfect time to JUMP in the unknown. Initially, I was giving myself every reason why I shouldn’t write a book. I told myself “Too many things are going on. When will I find the time? I don’t know what to do.”

Whatever we prioritize, we will find the time to do.

  • Question to You

What is it that you know that you were created to do?

Have you started to pursue it or have you focused on the reasons that you can’t do it?

What can you do TODAY to move you towards your purpose?

Take some time to read more about “The Purposeful Parent” by clicking here.

Let me know in the comments below. Email me at devon@devondaniel.com and let me know. If you feel stuck, I can help you move forward with the purpose that you were created to fulfill.

Here are some older blog posts that are related to this as well.

Here is the Reason Why Now is Better Than Later

3 Important Truths To Know About Your Purpose As a Parent

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Here is the Reason Why Now Is Better Than Later

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“Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off until the day after tomorrow what should have been done the day before yesterday.” – Napoleon Hill

At times in our life, we tend to wait until things are perfect before we do what we believe we are created to do. Fear, perfectionism, what-ifs, clutter our mind and we tend to push down the vision that is trying to come up and live. If we wait until all the ducks are lined up in a row, the ducks will float away. No time is perfect; we have to risk failure to live in success.

Ask yourself “Why do I keep pushing off my goals? What am I afraid of? Whose voice am I listening to? Am I listening to someone’s voice in the past, am I listening to fear, or am I just procrastinating?”

The Past, Fear, and Procrastination are the usual suspects when it comes to running from our purpose. If we allow ourselves to be honest with ourselves, it probably falls within those categories.

  • Eph. 5:15-17 ESV
  • Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.

So, to answer the question, the reason why NOW is better than LATER is that THE PAST, FEAR, and PROCRASTINATION will always be present. Now is the time to look these things in the eye and overcome them.

We can NOT be afraid to fail. We must be willing to risk failure to achieve success. – Devon Daniel

If you want to learn how to overcome these factors, go to www.thepurposefulparentbook.com and get your copy today. Inside you will learn the tools to overcome these obstacles. Also, you will get access to private Facebook Group called “The Purposeful Life.” Here you can connect with other people that are pursuing their purpose just like you.

See you on the inside.

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This One Conversation Exposed A Big Lie

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“Do You Watch TV?”

One day at church, a group of us were talking about things that we wanted to grow in at that time. I said, “I want to learn how to play the bass, but I don’t have time.” My friend Tom asked, “Do you watch TV?” I replied, “yeah.” Tom then replied, “Then you have time.” I looked at someone else for defense but they gave the look of “Yep! He’s right!”

THE BIGGEST LIE

One of the biggest lies that exists today is “I don’t have time.” If we are honest with ourselves, we know we have the time do what we need to do. The problem is that we tend to give our time to things that don’t matter.

When this conversation happened, I thought and believed that I didn’t have time to learn the bass. What I realized after I thought about what Tom said, was that I did have the time to learn how to play the bass. I was just filling that time by watching TV. The truth was that I wanted to watch TV more than I wanted to learn how to play the bass. The lie was that I didn’t have time. Ironically, a short time after, the Praise and Worship leader asked if I had any interest in playing the bass, and now I have been playing it for four years now.

To be clear, I still watch TV. I watch basketball, football, and a couple of other things. I do find it relaxing. The main difference now is that watching TV is something I do if I have time left over (for the most part). I still plan to watch certain things from time to time; it just doesn’t consume my life as much anymore.

Balance is Key

Of course, in everything, there is a balance. There will be some things that you need to say “no” to for a season. You can’t try to do everything that you want to do all at once. Sometimes you need to put your focus in specific areas of your life for a short time for various reasons. Sometimes you honestly may not have time, but at least examine your time to see if you can. You may not have all the time that you want, but you can still use the time that you have.

Have You Accepted the Lie?

I believed that I didn’t have time because I gave a lot of time to watching TV. It will be different for different people. Social media has a place in our lives today and many people use it for productive purposes. However, if you believe you don’t have time, I dare you to examine how much time you spend on

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Snapchat

What you will probably find is that you do have the time; it’s just that it’s being taken up with other things. 

 

 

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Your New Year’s Resolution is Missing This

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“Accountability breeds response-ability.” – Stephen Covey

It is 2018, and you have started on your New Year’s resolution. For most people, it will be to lose weight. For some, it will be to write a book, go back to school, pray more and go back to church. New Year’s resolutions are excellent and profitable when you work it, but none of them will last without this main ingredient – ACCOUNTABILITY!

Accountability has such a negative stigma attached to it. Sometimes it seems like people are running away from holding themselves accountable, but it’s one of the best tools that we have available to us today. It is one of the most uncomfortable things to subject ourselves to at times, but it is one of the essential tools needed to experience the following:

  • Growth
  • Wisdom
  • Success

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” – James 5:16 – (ESV)

Failed Resolutions

Sometimes the reason we have been unable to accomplish our resolutions over the years is that we are not willing to be real and honest with someone that will tell us when we are wrong. It’s easy to talk to people that will tell us everything that we like to hear. We don’t have to do the work to change. However, when we are open to someone that will tell us when we are wrong, we are stepping into a place where few people visit, but all successful people live.

As I think back in my life, growth only happened when I was challenged by people that held me accountable. When I didn’t want to go to church after I moved away for college, my Pastor back home in the Virgin Islands instructed me to find a church ASAP. That church is a big part of my life today. When I hired a trainer, he held me accountable for what I ate and my workout schedule. Today I am healthier than I was one year ago.

My Daughter Benefits From Accountability

My daughter is currently a gymnast. When she was good enough to move on to the competitive teams, we had some issues finding a coach that would hold her accountable. Some would allow her to do what she wanted to do and didn’t push my daughter beyond what she thought she could do. At one point we drove an hour each way twice a week to take her to a gym where my sister-in-law worked so that my daughter would be trained by her. My sister-in-law pushed my daughter and kept her accountable.

After a while, we had to find a new gym because we couldn’t do the long drive any longer. The first time at the new gym, my daughter cried and didn’t want to go. The second practice my daughter wasn’t running a fast as she should. Her new coach yelled from the corner “Anaya, run now!” She responded, and this started the process of her eventually becoming so comfortable that she loves going (most of the time). The tool of accountability is what made this all possible.

We all need someone that will keep it real with us. We won’t grow without it. If we don’t improve, our children’s growth will be limited as well.

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Merry Christmas – Here is the Greatest Gift Ever Given

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 Romans 8:32 – New Living Translation

Since He did not spare even His own Son but gave Him up for us all, won’t He also give us everything else?

Today is one from the heart. Sometimes I struggle in the area of knowing that I am genuinely accepted. This thinking has been a struggle for a lot of my life. I felt like if specific people didn’t like me, that I was not good enough. Thinking this way always fails because Jesus is the only way to be TRULY and FULLY accepted. People cannot provide this need, and it’s a need that everyone has.

If we are honest with ourselves, we all want to be accepted. Of course, the first place we turn is the place that seems the easiest but is the least qualified. People! However, God is the only one that provides the acceptance that is powerful enough to make you whole and complete without approval from others. If we are looking to other people for the recognition, we are selling ourselves short of the most secure foundation for acceptance in existence, God Himself.

One of the reasons I want my daughter to know that I accept her is so that she doesn’t look for counterfeits from other guys when they come calling. I don’t want her to fall for a guy just because he says “Hi! You are beautiful.” She knows what I think of her, so those words from another man won’t have so much of an effect on her that she automatically chases his approval. If we want our children to be confident in who they are, we must be secure in who we are.

John 3:16 – ESV

“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.

Even though I have thoughts and feelings of rejection from time to time, I am in a better place. It’s part of my regular habit to say, “God accepts me, and that is good enough.” He is the best parent ever to exist. His acceptance is all I NEED. Approval from others is nice, but it doesn’t determine my identity. In Jesus Christ, I am fully accepted by God.

The best gift ever given was Jesus Christ. Through His Son, He provides the acceptance that we all need. God has given you the best gift ever. Jesus Christ!

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Why I Am NOT Trying To Be The Best Parent Ever

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That isn’t a typo. I am intentionally not trying to be the best parent ever. I am not trying to be the perfect parent that appears to have it all together. Those people are only seen on TV. I am a parent that makes mistakes with my children and in life. So really, I am not trying to be the best parent ever; I am becoming the best version of me possible. I will be the best parent, husband, employee, friend, and teammate that I can be when I work on becoming the best version of myself that I can become. Every role in our life, including our role as a parent, stems from who we are on the inside. We are not who we try to make ourselves to be on the outside. What people see on the outside is a reflection of who we are on the inside.

“Everyone who comes to me and hears my words and does them, I will show you what he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built. But the one who hears and does not do them is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. When the stream broke against it, immediately it fell, and the ruin of that house was great.” – Luke 6:47-49 ESV

Jesus is the ONLY Perfect One

Jesus is using the foundation of a house as an example to show what our lives should be. Storms will come in our lives. I don’t know of one person that has zero problems. Problems happen in all of our lives. The difference in standing and falling is not our determination, knowledge, willpower, or stubbornness. The strength of the foundation that we have on the inside of us is what determines whether we stand or fall. The power of this foundation also determines the kind of parent we are.

Our children will reflect more of who we are more than what we say. They will reflect how we respond to tough times in our lives. It’s incredible how much they watch us. However, the foundation we have determines what we do. If we want our children to strive for excellence, let’s make sure we are doing the same thing in our lives. If we don’t want our children on social media all the time, let’s make sure that we are aware of how often we are on it. There are many other examples that I can use, but the main point to keep in mind is that we need to make sure that we have a strong foundation. Jesus is the best foundation that we can have.

We Must Take Care of Ourselves

We must take care of ourselves. We must make sure that we are healthy physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. Remember, if we are on an airplane and the masks fall from the compartment, we should put our masks on first before our children’s mask. The healthier we are, the healthier they will be.

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3 Important Truths to Know About Your Purpose As a Parent

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“I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” – Philippians 3:14 NLT

Know That Your Purpose Is Important

As parents, it is imperative that we are moved in this life to do more than the regular cycle of waking up, going to work, coming back home and paying bills. We are created to be so much more than that. We have a purpose to fulfill, and we were are equipped to accomplish it. You need to know that your purpose, outside of being a parent is important.

On the way to achieving our purpose, there will be lots of challenges, problems, victories, and changes. So many things happen to us and around us that it gets hard to keep our focus in the right place. However, the concept that we must hold on in every challenge is that pushing to complete the purpose of our life is the best thing that we can do for us and in turn our children.

They Are Watching

One thing that I have learned is that our children are watching us. They are looking to see how we react to the right and wrong situations. If we let out an expletive when we stub our toe, the chances are that is what they will do when they feel an unexpected sharp pain out of nowhere. When they see us pursue goals, they will learn to go after their own.

Some things are always going to happen. We live in an imperfect world, and things will pop up. Some things hit us harder than others, and we are going to decide how we respond. The one thing we can’t afford to do is give up. Giving up is expensive! Not necessarily regarding money (even though it can apply), but in your life goals. We are called to be more than just Daddy and Mommy. These positions are VERY VERY important, but living out the reason that we were created is essential as well.

Press Through

Pressing through is only necessary when we meet resistance. One thing I learned from weight training is that resistance makes you stronger. We build muscle using the pressure that is coming against us as we lift. If we don’t push through it, we will stay the same.

Paul said that he pressed on to reach the end of the race to which God called him to, and I am thankful he did. As a result of him pushing through the resistance he had, millions of others benefited from it.

When we push through the resistance in our lives, our children benefit from it. Our purpose is so important that people depend on us to fulfill it. Someone out there is waiting for you to do what God created you to do. Our children will be watching us and learning how to push to fulfill their purpose. For me, that is a big win! Our mission is that important!

Read more at http://www.thepurposefulparentbook.com.

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Do You Know The Role Of a Father? – Part 3

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The last part of this series is the role of being a guide. There are many other roles of a father, but right now I see the role model, the teacher, and finally a guide as the most important roles. Some may say that a guide and a teacher are the same, but there are some differences that I personally feel make a world of difference.

What is a guide?

The job of a shepherd includes being a guide. The shepherd guides the sheep to running waters to drink, to green pastures to eat, and to safe places to rest. He makes sure that they go to all of the areas necessary to be healthy, whole and complete. Now the shepherd doesn’t force them actually to drink, eat or rest, but he makes those opportunities available.

Some of the definitions of a guide are:

  • a person who advises or shows the way
  • a thing that helps to form an opinion or make a decision or calculation
  • to show or indicate the way
  • to direct or influence the course of action of someone or something
  • We as fathers are needed to make all of the points above. We are supposed to show the way, HELP form opinions or make decisions, show the way to certain things, and influence our children’s course of action in many situations. The main difference between a guide and a teacher is that a teacher will tell you the answer in scenarios, but a guide gives all the information but allows someone to come to their conclusions.

Freedom to make decisions

There will be times where we have to make decisions for our kids, but we must also allow them to make decisions for themselves. The younger our children are, the more decisions we will have to make for them. When they’re first born, we (for the most part) decide when and how much they. As they get older, we give them more opportunities to make their own choices. We give them options for snacks, maybe options at a restaurant, and options for recreational activities. However, we still make decisions for them such as homework, going to school, and other things. I am a firm believer we must teach children to make decisions for themselves because the fact of the matter is that we fathers won’t always be around for every decision our children make.

Helps Alleviate Peer Pressure

I believe when we teach our kids to make decisions on their own it will prepare them to resist peer pressure. They will know that they have the freedom and ability to make decisions for themselves. If parents always decide for their children, when they get into a school they will allow their friends to make decisions for them as well, and they will let other adults make all their decisions for them. Our children need to know that if an adult tells them to pull their pants down to see their private parts they have the responsibility, right, and permission from their parents to say no, and tell someone about it. I know that’s a worst-case scenario, but it’s a real scenario that is happening in America today. Our children need to have the ability to think for themselves, and as fathers, we must teach it to them.

One day I called my daughter because it was time to leave the church. When I did this, her friend that was with her said: “just tell them that you forgot something in the classroom and we can run around.” My daughter didn’t know I was looking and said: “no my daddy said I have to leave.” Her response made me smile. So much so I spoke with my daughter about it and told her how proud of her I was.

So yes we must teach our kids, but we must also learn to guide. We must be there so that nothing too detrimental happens to them, but we can’t afford to make every decision for them either. There is a balance to this, and often it’s not the easiest to find. I have met adults that don’t know how to function in their own life because their parents still make every decision for them and it’s a sad sight to see.

Have you ever fallen into the habit of making every decision possible for your children? Is there one instance that you can think of where your child made a good or bad choice? What are some ways that you guide your children? Let me know. I love to learn from other parents!

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Do You Know The Role Of a Father? – Part 2

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Last time we spoke about the most important role as a father is to be a role model. In my opinion, being the person you want your kids to be is the most powerful thing that you can do for their lives. Nothing replaces our children seeing with their own eyes a man of integrity, strength, Godliness, and many other things. However, in addition to being a role model, we must be teachers. I have found that fathers are responsible for teaching by example, by using life lessons, and by discipline.

Teaching by example

Fathers, our children are designed to learn by standards set before them. People, in general, are intended to learn by example, however when we are adults we already have habits formed and have already seen certain things that shape who we are (some good and bad). Our children are empty canvases waiting to be painted on. They are looking at us, and what we do teaches them something, good and bad.

I play bass on the praise team at my church. About 10 minutes before we go out on stage we take some time to pray. One Sunday my daughter (6 at the time) came in the back to put her iPad away before class. She saw us praying and walked right in and prayed with us. It shows that she sees it at home and that she has seen it so much that she is comfortable with it. If it weren’t something she was comfortable with, she most likely wouldn’t have come in to pray with us because that typically isn’t a typical reaction for a 6-year-old to have. This incident reminded me that I am teaching her to pray by the example I’ve set by praying at home.

Teaching by life lessons

There are times where we must make time to talk to our children about things that happened throughout the day. We must educate on purpose. Our kids will pick up a lot of things by watching us, yes, but there are things that they won’t understand unless we talk about it.

When my son first started playing basketball, he never passed on an opportunity to take a shot. One of my friends began to call him “Kobe” (after Kobe Bryant who plays for the Lakers who also shoots a lot). Derek was one of the taller and stronger kids on the team, so they passed the ball to him a lot, but he always shot the ball, even when his teammates were wide open. Earlier in the week, Derek mentioned that he wanted to be in charge when he grows up and his name means “leader of the tribe.” So with these things in mind, I found an opportunity to teach a lesson on leadership. Derek and I spoke about what “a person in charge” really means and spoke about how they share things. At the end of the conversation, Derek learned that he had to share the ball. At his game the following week, he continued shooting like usual, but in a timeout, I reminded him of what we spoke about, and then he made great passes for the rest of the game. I don’t remember if he won or lost the game, but I know he learned a lesson about leadership at the age of 5 years old.

Teaching by Discipline

Discipline merely is one of the least liked but necessary things to do in life. We as parents don’t necessarily like to discipline our children. We love them so much that we don’t want to cause any discomfort to them. We don’t want them to cry, to have to make a hard decision, or make them do things that they don’t want to do. However, it’s the same love that compels us to discipline them. In Hebrews 12:6 and Proverbs 3:12, the Bible speaks of God correcting those He loves. Discipline is what helps form the self-imposed restraints in our children’s lives. Yes, our children need to learn how to say no, but even more importantly they need to learn how to tell themselves no.

Going back to teaching my son to pass the ball, he didn’t want to give the ball initially (he still may not want to pass it), but he did. Even at the age of 5, I taught him that he had to say “no” to himself. He wanted to shoot the ball, but he made himself pass it. He was beginning to learn how to tell himself “no.” Self-discipline is first taught by the outward discipline of the parents. And as fathers, we need to be the one taking the lead in this.

Being a teacher to our kids, in addition to being a role model creates a sharp image that our children won’t forget. That picture of a man that not only talks a good talk but also walks it out speaks volumes a positive image that will always be remembered.

What do you think?

What are some of the lessons that you have taught your children? What are some other ways that you teach your children that are not listed here? How do you feel about disciplining your kids? Feel free to let me know. I genuinely look forward to hearing about it.

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Do You Know The Role Of a Father? – Part 1

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The role of a father is significant. It’s my personal belief that many of today’s issues are a result of more and more children being raised without fathers as an influential figure in their lives. Fathers play such a vital role in a child’s life. Sadly today, because a lot of fathers are out of the home, for various reasons, there are gaps that a mother cannot fill. Nothing against single moms, I have much respect for every single mother out there, but there are some fatherly roles they cannot fulfill.

ROLE MODEL

Children will learn more from observing than they will any other avenue. They are designed to learn from the people in their lives that provide and protect them. This method is the number one thing I keep in mind when I am around my children.

C’MON MAN!!!!!!

I remember one day my entire family was together. I was playing a Madden 2013 (football game) on my Xbox, my son was playing the same game on the iPad, my wife was cooking and my daughter coloring. Something happened in my game where a wide receiver dropped a pass, and I responded with a loud “C’Mon Man.” I kid you not, 5 seconds later my son says “C’mon man.” I looked at my wife, and she says “that’s where he gets that one from.” I am still laughing at that, even as I write this, but it shows how our kids are learning from us.

Guys, we must understand that our sons will learn how to treat women by watching us. If we are short with, easily aggravated, and rude with our wives and the other women in our life, our sons will assume that’s the correct way of doing it. Even if you realize you were wrong for what you did, it’s too late. Your son has already saved that in his memory bank.

Our daughters will learn how a woman is supposed to be treated by watching the way we treat other women. Using the same scenario in the previous paragraph, our daughters will accept that is just how women are supposed to be treated. Guys, if you don’t want your daughters to fall for the easily angered jerk, don’t show her that’s how women are supposed to be treated.

“I know I am pretty…”

One day I was listening to a Gospel song in the car. The song deals with how people see themselves. So, it starts with negative phrases like “You’ll never be good enough, your life doesn’t matter” etc. One line says “You’re not pretty.” When my daughter heard this she said “Daddy, why did he say I am not pretty?” After explaining what the song was about, she said, “Oh ok, because I know I am pretty.” This story brought a smile to my face because my wife and I call her “Pretty girl” as a nickname. It’s instilled in her, so if she hears any different, she doesn’t accept it as truth. She heard her daddy say it so much, that anything else is foreign.

As a Christian, I want my children to learn first and foremost to have a relationship with God. So I must model this for them at home. This doesn’t mean I must be perfect, but I must show my children that God is the number one relationship in my life. So I must be the role model for this.

CHALLENGE

We fathers must make sure that we are the person that we want our children to be and look up to. Teaching isn’t good enough by itself. We must show that we practice what we preach.

Do you remember a time when your child acted just like you?
What are some things that you can change today?
What’s the most important thing that you want your child to learn from you?

Please take a second to answer any or all of the questions on the blog. I would love to hear from you.